A Bad Romance Story

It all began with a glance. A furtive glance, at that, which he took over his shoulder while paying Kim for the striped polo shirt he was buying for casual Friday. Kim was a friend, after all, not the sort of girl you date. Well, he would have dated Kim but for the fact that she'd already turned him down.

But it was the glance, remember, that brought Amanda to his attention. Blonde, young, short, too much make-up... worth a second look.

Yes, she was all that and more. She had that frantic look of desperation in her eyes that clearly announced her eligibility.

"Wow," he said, in such a way that Kim couldn't help but look up from the second try on his credit card. "She's cute."

"Who," Kim asked, "Amanda?"

A-man-daaaah. He let the name slide through his mind like he was weighing whether he'd like moaning it in her ear. It was okay.

"I suppose, if that's her name," he said. He stole another look. Sure, she had a weak chin and didn't realize leg warmers didn't really make it past 1987, but underneath that tasseled sweater, she might just have a nice rack.

"I can get you a date with her," Kim said with entirely too much certainty.

"Oh?" he asked a bit too quickly.

Well, Kim was certainly good on her word, and it wasn't much longer that Amanda met him for coffee. Lousy coffee, actually, but the company was relatively pleasant, and it led to lousy sex.

But the first time is always lousy, everyone knows, until you figure out all the bumps and groves after the second or third time. By the fifth time, the sex was still lousy--apparently she felt too self-conscious to be on top--and they stopped having it all together.

Days passed between calls, and he started being busy when she wanted to drag him to some movie that she wanted to see. After a while, she realized he wasn't calling her first or returning her calls and she gave up.

He, on the other hand, started buying his clothes anonymously from Target.