Breakfast: The first disappointment of the day

• Yesterday morning I bought what I thought was a pumpkin cake muffin from the cafeteria, but it turned out to be a muffin-shaped glob of canned pumpkin pie filling with crumbled pieces of crust on top. I discovered this when I encountered substantial resistance while trying to slice it in half. Well, after an hour of small forkfuls, I still hadn’t finished it. In fact, I had become quite sick of eating it, and had to get a soda to settle my stomach because I was somewhat nauseated. That was remarkably disappointing.
  
  
• Today I decided to try plain oatmeal, instead, thinking it was both better for me and cheaper. Undoubtedly both are true, but I added too much water and now it’s a cup full of murky, beige fluid. When I move the spoon, it stirs up a blizzard of opaque white oatmeals. It’s also piping hot, and severely deficient in flavor. This is why I usually skip breakfast.
  
  
• Zooey Deschanel is an absolute babe, don’t get me wrong, but based on the spelling of her name it should rhyme with “Gooey”, not “Joey”, and I find that rather irritating.
  
  
• The bird we know as a cardinal was named after the characteristic red vestments worn by Catholic cardinals. I wonder if widespread knowledge of this fact would make a few states reconsider their choice of official state bird.
  
  
• I’m thirty-six years old and can be counted on to behave like an adult, but a well placed fart can make me giggle like a six year old.
  
  
• Speaking of immaturity: there is an actual geographic locality called Bumpass, Virginia.
  
  
• Buying used CDs might not help the artist any, but it’s a great way to pick up some tunes on the cheap. I snagged the Eels and Portishead off Amazon for eight dollars total, including shipping and handling. That’s something.
  
  
• Oh, my wife’s craft show is coming up this Saturday, November 14th, at the Tiogue School in Coventry, RI, and I have some stuff to sell there, too. Not much, mind you, but on such short notice (two weeks or so) I’ve been able to bang out a few stuffed toys. I will be there with my wife, so if you want to meet someone who is absolutely NOT a celebrity, come on down! My wife’s jewelry is beautiful, and you can’t beat her prices. Send me an email if you need directions.